Being in a relationship with an addict can be extremely tough emotionally. Addiction typically takes priority over everything in the lives of those who suffer from it. If you love someone suffering from substance use disorder, it is important that you try not to take their actions personally; you must remember that their condition is not your fault.

Addiction is a disease that affects not only the individual living with it, but also immediate family and friends. Addiction is not a choice, nor something that the individual can control. Drug or alcohol dependency is a compulsion, and in order to stop it, those suffering need professional help. On top of that, addiction is unfortunately so often characterized by relapse that, as a bystander, it can seem impossible to withstand it all. One thing you have to remember is that addiction is a disease, and their condition is not a reflection on you.

The Importance of Boundaries

When dealing with a loved one who is addicted to something, it is important that you establish clear boundaries. This could include not lending money, asking them to follow specific guidelines, such as having times they should come and go from the house, or asking them not to socialize with certain people. Take some time to consider your limits and make that clear to yourself and to your addicted loved one. Setting these boundaries will protect you from unwanted hurt. For example, if your loved one has been using, you have the right to refuse to allow them inside your home. It can be hard to set (and stick to!) boundaries that your loved one may feel is unfair, therefore have a support network around you that helps you feel safe and supported when setting these boundaries.

These boundaries are in place to protect both you and your loved one, and if possible, it should be explained that they aren’t being put in place as a punishment for the addiction, rather as a way to protect both of you from more pain.

Remember that being supportive of their recovery does not mean making excuses for their addiction and consequent behaviors. Encourage them to seek the help they need. Help them to find the best treatment and let them know that you are there for them.

Relapses

Unfortunately, relapse is often part of the recovery journey. Remember that it is not a sign of failure, but a common part of the recovery process. In the event of a relapse, take some time to analyze what might have triggered the lapse, and then make an action plan on how they could avoid that specific trigger again. Although relapse can feel like a huge disappointment, not only for the substance user but to all those supporting them, However just because they’ve relapsed, doesn’t mean it’s the end of their recovery. Help them pick themselves up and continue onwards. Do not allow the perceived shame of using again to affect your loved one’s perspective on the hard work they’ve put into their recovery thus far. Use the experience as a reminder that recovery comes day by day, and each moment is a miracle.

Look After Yourself

You need to make sure you’re emotionally and mentally prepared for the journey you may need to take with your loved one; recovery can often be a bumpy road. Make time to focus on your mental and physical health during this process. Speaking with a therapist could be extremely helpful to the family members of an addicted person. Therapy can offer a safe space for you to express your true feelings and a nonjudgemental environment where you can work through any emotions that may need processing. Therapy can also help you develop resiliency, become aware of, and prevent your enabling behaviors, and also can assist in making and setting healthy boundaries with your loved one.

What if I can’t handle it anymore?

First and foremost, you have to remember that it is not your job to save your loved one. You can only do as much as you’re able to do. Sometimes, despite how much you try, helping someone can become too painful. Seeing your loved one’s physical, mental and emotional deterioration and detachment will be one of the hardest parts of living with addiction. Watching the person that you love in pain is hard and can take a toll on one’s mental health. As we mentioned before, your own self-care is one of the most crucial components of looking after someone suffering from addiction. If you’re unable to continue living in this situation, remember you are allowed to leave. This may be the last resort and something you’ve never thought could occur, but living with addiction can be too much. It is not shameful to prioritize yourself and the rest of your family and other loved ones. However painful, it can sometimes be necessary.

Practicing self-compassion can be an integral part of healing. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you may have made during this process. Forgiveness is a process that takes time and there is no right or wrong way to navigate through it and move on from the past. No one is perfect and everyone reacts to situations differently. You may feel guilt over the way you handled things and events that occurred; Allow yourself to acknowledge the depth of the predicament you were facing and the difficulty of your position within that – allow yourself to forgive the mistakes.

Living and loving an addict can be one of the most difficult experiences anyone has to go through. Ultimately all you can do is let them know that everything you are doing is because you love them. Let them know they have your support, even if it’s not in the way they think they want it. Making sure you tell them you love them is just as important for you as it is for them.

  ALEXANDER, BRUCE K., and GARY S. DIBB. “Interpersonal Perception In Addict Families”. Family Process, vol 16, no. 1, 1977, pp. 17-28. Wiley, doi:10.1111/j.1545-5300.1977.00017.x. Accessed 10 Oct 2020.

Camí, Jordi, and Magí Farré. “Drug Addiction”. New England Journal Of Medicine, vol 349, no. 10, 2003, pp. 975-986. Massachusetts Medical Society, doi:10.1056/nejmra023160. Accessed 10 Oct 2020.

 Volkow, Nora D. et al. “Neurobiologic Advances From The Brain Disease Model Of Addiction”. New England Journal Of Medicine, vol 374, no. 4, 2016, pp. 363-371. Massachusetts Medical Society, doi:10.1056/nejmra1511480. Accessed 10 Oct 2020.

Orford, Jim et al. “Family Members Affected By A Close Relative’s Addiction: The Stress-Strain-Coping-Support Model”. Drugs: Education, Prevention And Policy, vol 17, no. sup1, 2010, pp. 36-43. Informa UK Limited, doi:10.3109/09687637.2010.514801. Accessed 10 Oct 2020.

SEE, RONALD E. et al. “Drug Addiction, Relapse, And The Amygdala”. Annals Of The New York Academy Of Sciences, vol 985, no. 1, 2006, pp. 294-307. Wiley, doi:10.1111/j.1749-6632.2003.tb07089.x. Accessed 10 Oct 2020.

Davidson, Larry et al. “Enabling Or Engaging? The Role Of Recovery Support Services In Addiction Recovery”. Alcoholism Treatment Quarterly, vol 28, no. 4, 2010, pp. 391-416. Informa UK Limited, doi:10.1080/07347324.2010.511057. Accessed 10 Oct 2020.

 Kaufman, Edward. “Family Structures Of Narcotic Addicts”. International Journal Of The Addictions, vol 16, no. 2, 1981, pp. 273-282. Informa UK Limited, doi:10.3109/10826088109038828. Accessed 10 Oct 2020.

Healthy Eating in Recovery

Nutrition is a key component of any successful recovery journey. When recovering from addiction to substances, simply ceasing use is not always enough to ensure recovery success. Substances, such as alcohol, tobacco, cocaine, cannabis, opiates, and even sugar, shift the brain out of homeostasis, or balance. This is why, when trying to quit, we don’t quite feel like ourselves.

Drugs and alcohol affect the brain’s natural homeostasis by frequent over-stimulation. The brain wants to adjust and orient towards balance, so when substances are used in excess, it believes that it has over-produced certain chemicals, leading it to aim for balance by becoming less responsive.

Homeostasis is not the only aspect of healthy brain functioning affected by addiction. Over-stimulation as a result of substance misuse also damages neurotransmitter production. Neurotransmitters are chemical messengers within the brain that contribute to normal functioning. When substances are taken in excess, neural pathways can become “fried”, diminishing the brain’s ability to effectively communicate with itself and with the rest of the body.

Nutrition for a Healthier Brain

For a successful recovery, brain health must be restored. One effective way of restoring brain health and function is through proper nutrition. Recovery becomes easier when the brain and body are in good health. Nutrients absorbed from healthy, whole foods contribute to the synthesis of neurotransmitters in the brain, promoting recovery.

Addiction and Malnourishment

Those struggling with addiction are subject to malnourishment, even if they are unaware. Substances can affect our appetite and can even trick our bodies into thinking that our nutritional demands have been met. Alcohol, for example, makes a person feel full even though they are not. Substances like tobacco and cocaine provide us with a surge of dopamine that can give us a temporary boost in energy and reduce the perceived need to eat healthy food.

Furthermore, the power of addiction is such that intake of substances becomes a priority over eating right, as well as other important personal and social factors in daily life.

Nutrition for Healthier Behavior

Lack of proper nutrition is known to lead to stronger experiences of urges and cravings related to drug use, as well as more negative emotional states. These urges and difficult emotional states can be strong obstacles to a successful recovery.

With the right nutrition, these urges may be less intense. Both brain and body are in a stronger position to experience cravings and urges without giving in to them.

What is Healthy Eating?

According to the U.S. Dietary Guidelines for Americans, a healthy eating plan involves:

• Fruits, vegetable, whole grains, and low-dairy products
• Lean meats, poultry, beans, nuts, eggs, and fish
• Low intake of saturated and trans fats, cholesterol, salt, and added sugar
• Meeting calorie needs

The above are the recommended guidelines for the general population. For those addicted to substances, a higher intake of certain nutrients may be required to counter any deficiencies caused by substance abuse.

The Impact of Addiction and Poor Diet on Health

Addiction often goes hand in hand with poor eating habits. This destructive combination diminishes the healthy functioning of both brain and body, leading to malnutrition. This can manifest as:

• Depression
• Cognitive impairment
• Weakened immune system
• Vitamin and mineral deficiencies
• Low body temperature
• Electrolyte imbalances
• Low body temperature
• Deterioration of muscle tissue

Further consequences of malnutrition relate to specific substances.

Alcohol Abuse and Nutrition

Alcohol abuse damages the body by disrupting its ability to absorb nutrients, due to the damage alcohol causes to the stomach lining. Pancreas damage is another consequence of alcohol abuse. This is particularly detrimental to health as the pancreas is responsible for the digestion of lipids, carbohydrates, proteins, and hormones related to blood sugar. When the pancreas can’t function properly (due to alcohol abuse), addicted individuals are at risk of developing pancreatitis, which can be fatal.

Opioid Abuse and Nutrition

Opioid abuse is known to cause chronic constipation. In order to find relief, many sufferers take laxatives. However, overuse of laxatives can cause further health issues, such as electrolyte imbalance, heartburn, and vomiting. Instead of relying on laxatives for relief, patients in recovery from opioid abuse can support digestion by adding whole grains and fiber to their diet.

Stimulant Abuse and Nutrition 

Cocaine and amphetamines, which are known as stimulant drugs, suppress a user’s appetite. Suppression of appetite can lead to dehydration and vitamin deficiencies and is a major contributing factor to malnutrition. Prolonged periods of malnutrition can result in:

• Dental issues, such as tooth decay and gum disease
• Hair thinning and hair loss
• Irregular menstrual cycles
• Slower wound healing time
• Death

While stimulant abuse suppresses appetite, the comedown following use can create a spike in appetite, which can cause a user to binge eat.

 

Benefits of Proper Nutrition in Addiction Recovery

Getting the right nutrients offers a range of benefits for those in recovery, such as:

• Improved Mood and Increased Confidence
  

Healthy eating – getting the right nutrients in the right volume – helps those in recovery maintain a stable mood and positive outlook, unlike the mood swings, anxiety, and depression associated with nutrient deficiency according to research.

• Greater Focus
  

Healthy eating improves overall brain function. With healthy functioning, those in recovery can experience greater focus and awareness of their thoughts and emotions, key to successfully maintaining recovery. Deficiencies increase the likelihood of distraction, which in turn can lead to relapse. For example, a magnesium deficiency can lead to feelings of confusion and insomnia which are dangerous for those in early recovery.

• Increased Motivation and Energy
  

With proper nutrition, clients give themselves the best chances at staying motivated and maintaining energy levels through the recovery journey. With motivation and energy, it is easier to stay consistent with other important healing tools, like meditation and regular exercise.

Nutrient deficiencies, like those caused by substance abuse, cause those in recovery to experience more unstable and inconsistent energy levels. Deficiency in iron is known to cause apathy and feelings of fatigue, which can jeopardize recovery success.

• Resilience
  

Eating healthy can improve a person’s ability to deal with cravings by reducing their intensity. Cravings are amplified by nutrient deficiency. One study by Biery et al. observed that patients addicted to alcohol reported less intense cravings when receiving talk therapy in combination with nutritional therapy, compared with patients who had not received nutritional therapy.

Nutrition, Exercise, and Meditation for Addiction Recovery

Nutrition is one of a multi-pronged approach to supporting the recovery process. Proper nutrient intake, regular exercise and daily meditation can all contribute to the whole person healing necessary for recovery to be successful in the long term.

In Conclusion

Proper nutrition has a profound effect on the recovery process. Healthy food intake leads to significant improvements in our overall well-being and promotes a positive outlook. This improved mood and well-being reduces the likelihood of relapse in those in recovery.

Recovery is a long road, but small steps can be taken every day to ensure success. When it comes to healthy eating, it is best for those in recovery to receive consistent support from a nutritional counsellor or therapist to help them first understand the importance of nutrition and then figure out a realistic plan to ensure that the right nutrients are consumed on a daily basis.

 

Living under the same roof as an alcoholic is incredibly hard. However, often the families of those with alcohol use disorder (AUD) are overlooked, even though the fallout from AUD affects the entire family unit.

People with AUD can prioritize drinking over other areas of their life including employment, socializing, and physical health. This means that sharing a house with someone who is misusing alcohol is rarely easy – frequently friends and family are left feeling nervous and scared. This article will explain what AUD looks like, and how the loved ones of those who misuse alcohol can protect themselves.

Concealed Alcohol Consumption

Many people, who are classed as ‘functioning’ alcoholics can successfully hide their drinking from friends and colleagues. Many people also use the fact that they do not drink during the day as a way to deny that they have a problem. Just because someone only drinks at home does not mean that they are a safe drinker, and it also means that their families bear the brunt of their drunkenness. It is also especially concerning as research by the World Health Organization has shown that alcohol use in a home increases the risk of domestic violence.

Given that only one in ten of those suffering from alcohol use disorder actually seek treatment, it is clear that many families in the United States continue to suffer in silence.

“Intimate Partner Violence And Alcoho”. Who.Int, 2006, https://www.who.int/violence_injury_prevention/violence/world_report/factsheets/fs_intimate.pdf.

Seelye, K., 2016. Fraction Of Americans With Drug Addiction Receive Treatment, Surgeon General Says (Published 2016). Nytimes.com. Available at: <https://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/18/us/substance-abuse-surgeon-general-report.html> .

 

Alcohol Use Disorder Figures in the United States

The rates of alcohol use disorder in the United States are extremely high. Alcohol consumption is considered socially acceptable in the United States, and the normalization means that many are not properly informed of its dangers. One study by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism estimates that 17 million Americans have a problem with alcohol. Another study makes the previous figure seem like a conservative estimate, claiming that as many as 30 million Americans may suffer from alcoholism.

Those who suffer from AUD put themselves at an increased risk of several health complications, including digestive issues, reproductive issues, high blood pressure, stroke, and heart problems. Alcohol is believed to be the third leading cause of preventable deaths in the United States, killing 88,000 people per year. Drunk driving is also a significant contributor to this figure, with over 10,000 drunk driving-related deaths last year in the United States, averaging out to one death every 51 minutes.

 

Signs of Alcohol Use Disorder in a Loved One

Alcohol use disorder typically involves frequent cravings for alcohol, and difficulty stopping after alcohol consumption has begun. As consumption increases, the body develops a tolerance, leading to the need to consume more alcohol to achieve the same result. As this continues to progress, physical dependence can form if the body is exposed to alcohol for a prolonged period.

 

Some of the signs of substance use disorder include:

• Drinking alone
• Drinking to deal with emotions
• Making an effort to conceal their consumption from those closest to them
• Storing alcohol in dangerous or unusual places, such as at the workplace or in the trunk of their car
• Inability to control consumption after the first drink
• Trouble maintaining steady employment or trouble in school-related to timeliness, performance, and disciplinary actions
• A sudden loss of interest in activities that were once a passion
• Poor hygiene and a lack of nutrition
• Frequent blackouts due to excessive drinking

Kreek, M., Nielsen, D., Butelman, E. et al. Genetic influences on impulsivity, risk taking, stress responsivity and vulnerability to drug abuse and addiction. Nat Neurosci 8, 1450–1457 (2005). https://doi.org/10.1038/nn1583

Badiani, Aldo, and Primavera Spagnolo. “Role Of Environmental Factors In Cocaine Addiction”. Current Pharmaceutical Design, vol 19, no. 40, 2013, pp. 6996-7008. Bentham Science Publishers Ltd., doi:10.2174/1381612819999131125221238.

Padykula, N.L., Conklin, P. The Self Regulation Model of Attachment Trauma and Addiction. Clin Soc Work J 38, 351–360 (2010). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10615-009-0204-6

Alcoholism is thought to arise from a complex mixture of genetics, environmental influences, and traumatic early life experiences. Although there is no single gene that passes on alcohol use disorder to future generations, having relatives with alcohol use disorder puts people at an increased risk for developing the disorder later on in life. Other risk factors that can play a role in moderate alcohol consumers developing alcohol use disorder include:

• Drinking alcohol as a young adult or adolescent

• Frequent binge drinking

• Drinking to cope with personal problems including mental health disorders

• Drinking while using other substances, including illicit narcotics and prescription drugs

• Having a social circle that encourages heavy or frequent alcohol consumption

 

National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). 2020. Treatment For Alcohol Problems: Finding And Getting Help. Available at: <https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/brochures-and-fact-sheets/treatment-alcohol-problems-finding-and-getting-help> .

Schuckit, M., 2020. Remarkable Increases In Alcohol Use Disorders. Jama Network. Available at: <https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/article-abstract/2647075> .

Pietrangelo, A. and Luo, E., 2020. 23 Effects Of Alcohol On Your Body. Healthline. Available at: <https://www.healthline.com/health/alcohol/effects-on-body> .

National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). 2020. Alcohol Facts And Statistics. Available at: <https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/brochures-and-fact-sheets/alcohol-facts-and-statistics> .

Cdc.gov. 2020. Impaired Driving: Get The Facts | Motor Vehicle Safety | CDC Injury Center. Available at: <https://www.cdc.gov/motorvehiclesafety/impaired_driving/impaired-drv_factsheet.html> .

 

Alcohol and Troubles at Home

AUD often impacts the personalities of those who suffer from it. This could impair their willingness to uphold responsibilities such as employment and domestic chores, but it could also be a contributor to aggressiveness, emotional abuse, and domestic violence. This is extremely common, and over 65% of violent incidents occur within close relationships.

In the United States alone, it is estimated that one-in-ten children have at least one parent suffering from alcohol use disorder. Research has also suggested these children are more likely to develop the disorder themselves later in life. These children are more likely to face severe emotional and psychological consequences as a result of their parents’ drinking, including issues with intimacy, trust, and forming close relationships.

Setting Boundaries Related to Safety and Alcohol Consumption

Self-care is highly important for those who live with someone with AUD. This means that it is crucial that the families affected by AUD have a support network – this could be close family friends, counselors, or therapists. In looking after themselves, they can make sure that they are able to support everyone else in the family unit. There is a multitude of free mutual aid groups that specialize in helping families affected by AUD across the United States – a quick internet search could put you in contact with understanding people who know exactly what you are going through.

Listed below are some of the precautions someone can take to ensure the safety of their household.

• Understand how to identify the warning signs of a safety issue related to excessive alcohol consumption

Abuse in any form – physical, verbal, or emotional must not be tolerated in the home. If someone’s excessive drinking causes them to be aggressive, violent, or angry, it is recommended that appropriate support agencies, such as police or social services are contacted. It is crucial that once signs of abuse are present, the household separates themselves from the abuser.

• Don’t enable alcohol consumption

Refrain from purchasing alcohol or trying to please the household member who suffers from alcohol use disorder. Long term happiness is not achieved by giving in to their demands.

• Set boundaries related to alcohol consumption

Boundaries exist to keep everyone safe. This could include not allowing alcohol in the house or not being allowed in the house after consuming alcohol.

• Be understanding

Although it can be incredibly frustrating to share a home with someone with AUD, being open minded and listening to them may help them. If they feel that they can be honest with you about their struggles it will open up communications. Feeling ashamed is a huge barrier to recovery.

National Counsel on Alcohol and Drug Dependence. 2020. Alcohol, Drugs, And Crime. Available at: <https://www.ncadd.org/about-addiction/alcohol-drugs-and-crime> .

Staff, Reuters. “One In 10 U.S. Kids Have Alcoholic Parent: Study”. U.K., 2020, https://uk.reuters.com/article/us-usa-drinking-study/one-in-10-u-s-kids-have-alcoholic-parent-study-idUSTRE81F0CB20120216.

Chassin, L., Rogosch, F., & Barrera, M. (1991). Substance use and symptomatology among adolescent children of alcoholics. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 100(4), 449–463. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-843X.100.4.449

 

Remembering It’s Not Your Fault

Often the loved ones of those with AUD will blame themselves for their loved one’s drinking. In these instances, it is helpful to remember that AUD is a medically recognized disease. It has a wide range of causes, and it is likely that the loved one was predisposed to have this condition by a combination of factors, even if their consumption did increase whilst they were with you.

 

Staging an Intervention for a Loved One

Interventions can help get someone to address their issues with alcohol use disorder, and it is recommended that family and friends are involved in this process. For someone to admit that they have a problem, and could benefit from professional help, they may require an intervention to act as a compassionate ‘wakeup call’. Having a treatment center in mind, as well as having belongings packed, is a way to ensure that a smooth transition to treatment can take place immediately.