Codependency and Addiction

Much of the research published on codependency involves codependents in relationships with alcoholic partners. Codependent relationships can also involve other substances.

According to the journal American Family Physician, codependents usually learn their behavior from other family members. If a child watches a codependent parent, they might learn that behavior and carry it into their adult life. Codependents usually have low self-esteem. They tend to seek outside validation to make themselves feel better. Sometimes, this involves the use of substances like alcohol and other drugs. Others might become workaholics or develop a behavioral disorder like an eating disorder or a gambling addiction.

The codependent may have the best intentions. They may be living with an alcoholic partner or someone with a mental illness and take on the role of caretaker. Despite their good intentions, codependency can become a compulsion. When it becomes compulsive, it can take over a person’s life. The behavior is generally self-defeating, making the codependent feel bad about themselves.

The codependent might sacrifice their own wants and needs to satisfy those of their partner. For example, a codependent husband might buy alcohol for his alcoholic wife. He might do this to prevent her from driving to the liquor store while drunk.

The issue is that this behavior enables the destructive behavior of the partner. This serves to worsen the partner’s condition. As the partner continues to abuse drugs or alcohol, they become more reliant on the codependent. The codependent then feels needed, which is rewarding.

When codependency becomes a compulsion, the codependent may feel they have no way to change their situation. They feel helpless. They may be aware of the problem but feel unable to change their behavior.